bully on the bus

Recently, I saw that someone's blog was discussing bullies and I thought I would post about one particular experience I had with a bully - who shall be named (we'll have none of this "names will be changed to protect the innocent" jargain. I plan on naming him outright because he's GUILTY!)

When I was in the 4th grade, I was all about some tennis shoes. Probably because mom only believed that children needed two pairs of shoes - one for play and one for church. So tennis shoes it was because my church shoes most surely weren't going to get NC red clay on them during recess.

With my tennies, I wore these beauties...

and yes, I did own them in every color, but my favorites were the green and blue ones.

As many of you may recall, back in the day, everybody rode the bus to and from school, it was the thing to do. My sister (who was 2 years ahead of me) and I always sat next to each other.

On this particular day (and maybe many others, but I just remember this day), Scott Reid sat behind us. Scott was a year older than me, which in my eyes made him automatically superior to me, and he was also a bully. He had spikey brown hair and was a troublemaker in general from what I can remember.

So, this afternoon, Sarah and I were minding our sweet sisterly bid'ness, our little feet dangling just above the floor of the bus, as we bounced along the neighborhood streets eagerly anticipating our arrival home.

All of a sudden, I felt a tug at my left heel, followed by another tug at my right heel. Puzzled, I picked my feet up to see what it could have been and I noticed that the pom-poms were missing from my socks!

As I prepared to look behind me to see what Scott has to say for himself, I glance at the aisle and notice the pom-poms rolling toward the front of the bus.

The little snake had plucked the pom-poms off my socks and bowled them down the aisle!

Words escaped me at that moment while horror and embarrassment hit me simultaneously. My cute socks had been de-balled. What was a girl to do?

Actually, I don't recall what I did in the moments following this tragedy, but I do remember that I was terribly distraught over the loss of my "balls" and probably shed a few tears in the privacy of my room. I'm sure my mother had some comforting words and probably told me to ignore Scott Reid for the remainder of our time together in elementary school. So I did. He never apologized for his dirty antics and it took me a long time to get over it.

Scott, if you're reading this, I just want to be the "bigger man" and say that I have forgiven you. I'm sure that you've moved on to greener pastures and maybe even have a carbon copy of yourself in one of your children. Hey, good luck with that...and teach them how to be kind to others so that their names won't be plastered on someone's blog in years to come.

seven

I found this little meme over at Out on a Limb and I think she got it from Melissa at Stretch Marks. So now I'm jacking it for my blog.

Seven things I can't do:

• yodle
• dance (I live vicariously through the phenoms on So You Think You Can Dance)
  
• a round-off back handspring with a full twisting layout
  
• can vegetables
  
• make anything from scratch (this is bad)
  
• make myself throw up (ewww, gross)
• run marathons...yet (maybe one day I will)
  

Seven things I do well:

• cook
• sing
• play guitar and piano
  
• remember little things like people's birthdays (I may remember the birthday, but I forget to send the card)
  
• blogging
• various sound effects
• sleep

Seven things you might hear me say:

• "Just a minute..." - to the redhead when he's whining and telling me something over and over and over and over.
  
• "Do you have a stinky?" - also to the redhead...for obvious reasons.
  
• "I don't understand whining, use your big boy voice."
• "What did I miss?" - this would be what I say when I've fallen asleep during a tv show or movie (which is all the time)
• Lijah, hush! - Lijah is our dog.
  
• water with no lemon, please
• turn over, Mr. Baseball, you're snoring.

Seven celebrity crushes (I even added pictures for your viewing pleasure):

• Mike Rowe - Dirty Jobs

• Curtis Stone - TLC's Take Home Chef

• Chris Daughtry

• Ty Penington

• Daniel Craig (the newest James Bond)

• Christian Bale (I have loved him since his days as a Newsie)
  

• Mr. Baseball (yes ladies, this is a picture of him as he's seeing me come down the aisle at our wedding)
  

Seven things that made me love my husband:

• his dashing good looks
  
• his dedication to see something through
• he isn't afraid to take risks and try something new
  
• his intelligence
• he is a faithful friend
  
• he loves Jesus
  
• he loves me

bringing down the eco-family one class at a time

When I was a sophomore in high school, I was placed in an experimental trio of classes that were coined the Eco-Family. English, World History, and Biology were the three components of the family. The whole idea was that the same group of students would move together to the classes, getting to know each other, and forming a cohesive unit of highly educated 15/16 year olds.


Riiiight.


What we formed was a cohesive unit of rebellion that effectively brought about the demise of the Eco-Family that very same school year.


English

Ms. Williams. God bless her soul. A naive, soft-spoken lover of all things literary who was relentlessly teased by the boys in the class. Every time one of them would crack a joke in her direction, she would do that uncomfortable laugh - you know the one. The laugh where it is totally obvious she didn't get it, but wanted it to appear that she was wise to the joke. Once she figured out they were teasing her, she decided to use some leverage. She never let us forget that she took a $5,000 pay cut to come to us from a school in Atlanta and that she didn't have to be teaching us. If I remember correctly, we told her to return to Atlanta. Horrible.

Before taking English with Ms. Williams, the only required reading I had to do was a handful of William Shakespeare plays (very cool), and To Kill A Mockingbird (loved it). Ms. Williams introduced me to the required reading from hell in the form of All Quiet on the Western Front. All I remember is the title and that it made me uncomfortable for reasons I don't recall. My stomach feels weird, I need to stop talking about required reading. This book is the reason I never finished another required read until I met Jane Eyre my senior year.

Back to Ms. Williams. When the class would get rowdy,(which was quite often) she would break this mess out...

The infamous apple bell. It's a 1972 Fisher-Price child's plaything for crying out loud! When shaken, the bell would emit a soft jingling noise. And this was supposed to quiet us down? Yah...thanks for coming out. I think one of her remedial Eco-Family English classes tossed the apple bell out the window, only to watch it be obliterated into a kajillion pieces on the sidewalk below.

That very well may have been the last year Ms. Williams was at our school.

Eastside High (from the movie Lean On Me) had nothin' on us.


History

Enter Mrs. Stanley. My mom and I still talk about the absurdity of this class. You see, Mrs. Stanley had better things to do than teach. She was the cheerleading coach (I have nothing against cheerleaders - I always wanted to be one but could never do a Russian). Anyway, Stanley's room was one of the few with NO windows. Seriously? That really cramped my daydreaming style. She did happen to be the one teacher of the three that didn't get teased. She was the cheerleading coach...remember? And we all know that cheerleaders are all kinds of cool.

Stanley was all about some busy work. I don't recall that I learned anything in her class except how to fill 200 index cards, each with one fact about some specific topic from World History. I could have taught her class...when I was 4.

Funny story...Once during an exam I was concentrating so hard that a little foo-foo slipped out accidentally. I was MORTIFIED! In a setting where you could'a heard a pin drop, the foo-foo was like the freakin' H-Bomb!


Biology (or Bology)

The One, the Only, Mrs. P. Henry Watkins. Oh, the education I received in her class. You won't have the full effect of Mrs. Watkins without her voice. She used to purse her lips like Sean Connery when she talked and that coupled with a bit of a nasal tone caused many a laugh. She was a very smart, very kind woman, who didn't have the patience for our shenanigans. I probably should find her and apologize for being so hateful.

There were several phrases that would coax peals of laughter from P. Henry's students. I shall list them for you (Mrs. Noonzie, you'll totally appreciate this):

"Class, get out your no-books (notebooks)."

"Formaldehyde will give you cancer."

"Why don't you write HBJ." HBJ was the publisher of our Bology book and anytime we had an issue with something in the book, she would tell us to write them and complain - that way she wouldn't have to hear it."

"You will need Sex, Subject Index Finders." (Really, it was Six Subject Index Finders, otherwise known as dividers for a three-ring binder.)

"That's ONE demerit!" - when someone pushed her over the edge, she would do something that resembled jazz hands and yell this at them. Two demerits was the limit, but I'm not sure what happened after that.

"This is a feemstrip on Mollucks." - read: a filmstrip on Mollusks.

"No more Killer Statements." - Those were any unkind or hostile words toward anything or anyone. (i.e. "I hate feemstrips on mollucks" = a killer statement)

I sat at a table with Ben, Justin, and Amy and were we ever delinquent. One day, Justin recorded a toilet flushing and played it in the middle of class. She knew it came from our table and wanted to search our backpacks. I adamantly refused and played an Oscar worthy performance of "the victim". I can't recall if she ever found it, but we were definitely on watch after that. I also got one demerit one day for rocking my chair back on two legs. She must have been having a really bad day that day.

My senior year of high school, our English teacher asked us to write a poem and I chose to honor P. Henry by writing a poem about her class.

Upstairs on the second floor
Number 201 is on her door

Her class, meant to be an effective one
Is the kind of place where students have fun

Open your no-books and write down this note
But if you don't you might miss the boat.

If you have an answer raise your hand and share it,
but speak out of turn and you get one demerit.

While reading HBJ, her glasses slip to her nose
Meanwhile her class has begun to doze.

Her voice has a nasal squeaky sound
Which makes everyone fall laughing to the ground.

Fifty-five minutes on task is her theory
But working for that A will make you quite weary

Killer statements are not her thing
So if you say one, the apple bell will ding
(oh yeah, she had an apple bell too.)

Sometimes she is a complete bore
But when she does something funny, you'll be laughing some more.

I think that sums it up well, no?

It really is a shame that we successfully launched and crash-landed the one-year reign of the eco-family. It could have provided many more laughs for our successors. Oh well. It did succeed at providing many wonderful high-school memories for me.

the odd title award

Mr. Baseball and I always have handy some bathroom reading material for certain times when nature calls. One of our favorite reads is Uncle John's Ultimate Bathroom Reader. For those of you not familiar with Uncle John's, it, and its companion books, are a compilation of some of the craziest material out there. Its just random, which is why we like it.

Recently I came across a hilarious work entitled "The Odd Title Award", pg. 183, and oh is this ever post-worthy stuff.

(my comments will be in red)

The Name Game

Every year, tens of thousands of new books are published. Some are pretty strange...and in 1978, the staff at Bookseller magazine decided to honor a few with the Odd Title of the Year Award. Every year, they give a bottle of champagne to the person who finds the most unusual book title of the year. The only rules: the book itself has to be serious, and "gratuitously eye-catching academic works" are automatically disqualified. The title has to be weird without trying to be. (That's why New Guinea Tapeworms & Jewish Grandmothers; Tales of Parasites and People, lost out in 1994.) Here are (some) of the winners. Remember: These are real book titles!

1978: Proceedings of the Second International Workshop on Nude Mice (What was so incredible about the first workshop that made it necessary to have a second one?)

Runners Up:
* Cooking with God (I wonder if He only uses organic?)
* Iceberg Utilization (Classic example - Titanic)
* Fight Acne and Win


1979: The Madam as Entrepreneur: Career Management in House Prostitution (Stay-at-home-mom is just a cover-up people.)

Runners Up:
* Macrame Gnomes (Gnomes are weird, and why is the G silent? Who gnows?)
* 100 Years of British Rail Catering (boring...whatever.)


1980: The Joy of Chickens (the joy is in the meat and the eggs. period.)

Runner Up:
* Children Are Like Wet Cement (yeah, impressionable)


1985: Natural Bust Enlargement with Total Power: How to Increase the Other 90% of Your Mind to Increase the Size of Your Breasts (Oh, so if I just have enough faith, then they'll grow?)

Runner Up:
* Anorexia Nervosa in Bulgarian Bees


1989: How to Shit in the Woods: An Environmentally Sound Approach to a Lost Art (bwahahahahahahahahahaha! How is it a lost art, dogs do it everyday!)

1993: American Bottom Archaeology (maybe this is about "digging" out wedgies! tee hee!)

Runners-Up:
* Liturgy of the Opening of the Mouth for Breathing (Um, NEWSFLASH...Anyone who is not opening their mouth to breathe certainly won't be reading this book-I think we all know how to do this!)


So there you are, just a few of the funny ones. I might try to come up with some titles of my own. Maybe I'll work on that for later.

cooking with the carolines

As I mentioned earlier here, I have been keeping a little girl named Caroline for about an hour and half after she gets out of school. Its really an ideal situation, and we have had fun this first week she's been here. We've played many games of Memory (so many in fact, that my el cheapo memory cards bit the dust, so I went out and bought some real ones), watched Shrek 3, danced to ABBA music, and played balloon volleyball.

On Friday, Mr. Baseball and I were having dinner with another family and were to bring a vegetable and dessert, so I enlisted the help of my name twin. She's quite the chef...who knew?

Our first assignment...

Chocolate Chip & Peanut Butter Chip Brownies

12 oz bag of chocolate chips
1 cup peanut butter chips (oops, we used the whole bag - and they were still good)
1 can sweetened condensed milk
1 1/2 c. graham cracker crumbs
1 stick of margarine

Melt margarine and mix with graham cracker crumbs. Press to cover bottom of 9x11 dish. Pour sweetened condensed milk over graham cracker and margarine mixture. Mix chocolate chips and peanut butter chips and pout over the milk. Bake at 350 for 20-30 minutes depending on your oven. (You may want to pull from oven before chips are completely melted.) Set up until cool and cut into bars.

Paula Deen's Corn Casserole

1 (15 oz) can whole kernel corn, drained
1 (14 3/4) can cream style corn
1 (8oz) pkg. corn muffin mix (Jiffy works well)
1 c. sour cream
1/2 cup (1 stick) butter, melted
1 - 1 1/2 c. shredded cheddar cheese


Preheat oven to 350. In large bowl, stir together 2 cans of corn, corn muffin mix, sour cream, and melted butter. (Please allow my lovely assistant to demonstrate)

Pour into a greased casserole dish. Bake for 45 minutes, or until golden brown. Remove from oven and top with cheddar cheese. Return to oven for 5 to 10 minutes or until cheese is melted. Let stand for 5 minutes and serve warm.

Enjoy!

alcohol sales = no coke zero

July 29th marked a big day for my "city". Prior to that day, one could not find alcohol on store shelves anywhere within the city limits. Oh, it was sold in the county (a mere 15 minute drive could get you some), but just not within the city limits.

All that changed on July 29th, when voters passed an alcohol referendum, and (legally) brought alcohol back in the city limits for the first time since the 50's.

I won't get into all the hoopla that surrounded this vote because that's not what's important here - but let me tell 'ya...

BOY, WAS I GLAD WHEN JULY 29TH CAME AND WENT!!!!!!

(Liken this to how some of you may feel once November 4th rolls around.)

I had actually gotten used to strolling through Wal-Mart/grocery stores/convenient stores and not seeing case after case of beer and wine.

It takes me a while to adjust to change, and well, I'm still adjusting to this change. I have lived here for 6 years with no alcohol and now its...EVERYWHERE! It will take a little time for me to once again become desensitized and then I'll be over it.

With that said, what I do have a problem with is that all the cases and cases of alcohol lining every shelf in every store I step foot in, have edged out my true love...

This picture doesn't lie folks, it really is a party in a bottle! More taste than Diet Coke with none of the calories of regular Coke. Yep, a party in a bottle!

I feel the need to tell you that after choir practice tonight I was craving some time with my love, so I did what any smart woman in need of a caffeine boost would do. I went to a convenience store. I quickly scanned the coolers for my love. I saw the red label, I saw the silver label, I even saw the gold label, but to my surprise, no black label. No worries, I'll just go to the CVS right down the road. It. Was. Not. There. Either! THEN, I went to another convenience store (I was really serious about my need) and THEY DIDN'T HAVE ANY EITHER!

I had to settle for a Diet Dr. Pepper (my one-night stand). Oh and never mind the fact that I could hardly see the floor (I kid you not) for all the alcohol boxes and what not all over the place. I asked the clerk where the Coke Zero was and he said (in his best Apu from the Kwik-E-Mart voice)...

"We trying make room for more things. We place order and it be here next week. We build store bigger to make room. Come back later."

Okay, great, but why was it that the only soda I didn't see was Coke Zero?

I see how it is.

No love.

I got love, and will proudly display my bling to prove it.

(P.S. I'll add this just because I know you're curious - Mr. Baseball and I do enjoy a glass of wine from time to time (read: like once every 3 months or so). Its not really a big deal to us.)

check out this giveaway!

Today I happened upon Rebecca at Uptown Girl and its a good thing I did because Rebecca is hosting a giveaway. Rebecca designed the blog for my friend Laurie at Baby Steps to Hannah and did a beautiful job!

Rebecca is going to be doing a giveaway once a month, so make sure you keep checking back. Here are the two gifts she'll be handing out to the lucky winner(s).

First is this cutie patootie handbag from Touch of Stardust.




The second prize is this cutsie camera strap from VMJESS.


Rebecca posts the rules on her site, so go to Uptown Girl and get yourself entered to win.

our take on labor day

Today is Labor Day.

Ironically, many people don't work on Labor Day - I guess in order to celebrate all the other days that they have to work. Plus its a good excuse to have a cookout.

Not at our house.

Today, we had a lot of this...

And because of that, we spent some time here...

and then redhead spent some time watching this...

so that his mommy could spend some time doing this...

and watching him...



Parenting...its a dirty job, but someone's gotta do it.

Happy Labor Day!

Now...back to work.

...and then i woke up

Last night I had the craziest dream. Its not the first of its kind and it most likely won't be the last. You see, it was a pregnancy dream. But not just any pregnancy dream because in this dream I had...

TWINS!!

I thought to myself, "That might be okay."

Then I remembered there'd be days like this...

and my dream turned into a nightmare! Not really, I just thought I'd add that part to be dramatic cause that's how I roll.

You have to understand, many people around me are either pregnant or have just given birth, so this dream didn't come out of nowhere. However, it did scare me enough for me to do this (please excuse the picture, the quality is awful)...

It was negative.

So it won't be twins this time, but a girl can dream can't she? (*wink*)

i heart your blog

I was awarded another little lovely...

by Tracy P. over at The Journey. She likes me, she really really likes me!

The rules of this award are:
1. The winner can put the logo on his/her blog.
2. Link the person you received your award from.
3. Nominate at least 7 other blogs.
4. Put links of those blogs on yours.
5. Leave a message on the blogs of the people you’ve nominated

And now the nominees in no particular order:

1. Heather at The Barbour Shop - Heather is an old college friend of mine who has 3 wonderful (and adorable) children. She is always coming up with creative and fun things for her "kiddos" to do. Plus, her blog design is beautiful AND she takes great pictures!

2. Courtney at Coffee Talk - Courtney and I go way back too, to Camp Willow Run in tiny Littleton, NC. Courtney is pastor's wife and mom to an adorable redhead. She always has something creative to post about, from funny things her redhead says, to almost vaulting out of a recliner in order to save her laptop. I always have to have a cup of coffee handy when I read her blog.

3. Octamom (I don't think I've ever seen her real name) - This is one cool lady. She is a wife and mother to 8 beautiful children. When she's not creating spreadsheets to keep her clan organized, she finds the time to leave the sweetest comments on the blogs of others. I also need to mention that she is a great writer.

4. Sarah @ The Wonderful Life That I Live is a dear friend of mine. She has an adorable little girl, Hannah, who is always getting into something. I love Sarah because she's real. If she's having a bad day, she'll tell you. If she's having a great day, she'll tell you. What you see is what you get with Sarah. She also loves to experiment with blog templates. I admire her for embracing change so readily.

5. The Queen in Residence @ Shiner's House of Fun - Oh my gosh, where do I begin? She's a wonderful mother, she's got the most beautiful eyes, and she's stinkin' hilarious (as evidenced by this post). She's finally home alone and both kids are in school. Who knows what she'll come up with next.

6. Angie @ John Deere Mom - Angie is a fun blogger and she's got plenty of blog fodder, what with her kids, Jackie the Cow and a recent illegal immigrant who showed up on her doorstep. She's funny, a great decorator, and makes great stuffed shrooms!

7. Lula @ Lulaville - I truly believe Lula and I share a brain (although I think she got the majority of it as her vocabulary is much greater than mine). Lula loves music, The Princess Bride, Jason Statham (that's right girls, she's got all dibs on him), and is Best Friends with Paula Deen. She leaves the most hilarious comments and was one of the first bloggers who evoked a belly laugh from me while reading her posts. Love you girl!

Now get on over to the gals and give 'em your love!

i

I AM ... really addicted to blogging. I check my blog at least 5 times each day searching for comments. I am a comment junkie - I even have the t-shirt to prove it (thanks to SITS). However, I don't think this is healthy.

I WANT... another choice for a presidential candidate. (I don't typically discuss political issues, and probably won't again on my blog. I guess I'll have to settle for the lesser of two evils.)

I HAVE ... a full bladder, but because I'm blogging, peeing is being put on the back burner.

I WISH ... that Curtis the Take Home Chef would cook dinner for me every night and Mike Rowe would read me stories until I fell asleep (I love him, um I mean... his voice).

I COULD ... go take a shower instead of sitting on my butt typing a post. But why would I want to do that?

I HATE ... when people litter - there's not a shortage of trash cans, you know.

I FEAR ... not being a good mom.

I HEAR ... that the human head weighs 8 lbs.

I SEARCH ... for my keys almost daily. Mr. Baseball says that if I put them in the same place every time like he does, then I wouldn't have to look all over the house for them when I need to go somewhere.

I DON'T THINK ... he's right. "My way is sportsmanlike."

I REGRET ... not knowing my dad better. There is still time for this to change though.

I LOVE ... music and in my mind's eye, I have seen key moments in my life play out like music videos. (That sounds weird, I hope you get it.)

I ACHE FOR ... my husband to be doing what he's meant to do and to make a good living at it.

I ALWAYS CRY ... after seeing a Hallmark commercial. I care enough to send the very best. Hallmark was my favorite job as a teenager.

I AM NOT ... a fan of Marilyn Mansen. See, I don't even know how to spell his name.

I DANCE ... with the redhead. Often.

I SING ... a lot. The redhead loves it and will sign the word for "more" after I've finished a song. He's good for my self-esteem.

I NEVER ... say never, it always come back to bite me in the butt.

I RARELY ... refuse food.

I CRY WHEN... I get overwhelmed.

I WATCH ... too much Noggin. Its not good for me. I think my vocabulary might be suffering because of this.

I AM NOT ALWAYS ... funny.

I HATE THAT ... I am selfish and prideful and don't love others the way I know I should.

I'M CONFUSED ABOUT ... why men wear speedos.

I NEED ... more quality time with Mr. Baseball.

I SHOULD ... not worry about pleasing others so much.

a talent i do not possess, nor do i want to...

is foo-fooing (a.k.a. pooting, tooting, stepping on frogs, etc.) on command.



My redhead however, (who is not yet 2) DOES possess this talent.

Mr. Baseball asked him to "poot" tonight and out popped one. The question was asked again...out popped yet another. I walked into the living room and asked him to "poot" (partly because I didn't believe this nonsense), and out squeaked another air biscuit. My jaw hit the floor.

The redhead's father couldn't be more pleased.

hot bubbling lava, funnel of wind...they're almost the same

I have started keeping a little girl for an hour and a half in the afternoon. She's in kindergarten and is the cutest little blue-eyed blonde you ever did see. Her name is Caroline also, which is fun, and today she said the most hilarious thing. Evah.

We've been having a lot of rain over the last 48 hours. I'm not dissin' rain cause we needed it in a big way. Thank you Jeeeeessssusssss! Anyway, there was a tornado(ish) thingy in the northern part of our county today, so they put all the schools on lockdown. (I don't really believe the smack about the tornado because alls I saw was heavy rain...whatev.) Anyway, Caroline came over after school and told me they all had to get under their desks because there was a -

Volcano Drill.

Tornadoes, Volcanoes, its easy to get the two confused. Sweet little lamb. If she only knew that crouching under her desk covering her head would never work during a volcano drill.

Good thing she's got 12 more years of school left to learn important things like this.

a tribute to my childhood blanket

Mama Kat over at Mama's Losin' It came up with a brilliant idear. She is hosting Writer's Workshop Wednesday and suggesting a topic or two for people to blog about. In the wake of much blogger's block, this is a fabulous solution. Go on over and check this out if you need a little nudge.

One of this week's suggestions was to write about your favorite childhood blanket or toy.....

So, here it is: A tribute to my favorite and only childhood blanket


Dear Boobie,

I do not recall our first moments together. In my defense, let me just say I was a week old. You were a baby gift from dad and mom's neighbor who worked for Nationwide Insurance, hence the "N" in blue stitching and the white eagle on one of your corners.

Word has it that we were inseparable from the get-go. I'm not sure how mom and dad felt about this, seeing as how I always referred to you as a "boy" blanket. I mean, they let me sleep with you every night for goodness sake. Talk about permissive parenting. AND they let me name you Boobie too? Sheesh, how did I ever make it to adulthood? I digress....

I named you Boobie before I had any understanding of what boobies actually were. Even when I did understand, I still didn't change your name. It was cemented by then.

Every so often, Mom would try to pry you from my kung-fu grip to wash you. She said that you stunk. Like Rose and Jack of Titanic fame, I never wanted to let go. It was Mom, Boobie, who would steal you while I was sleeping to let the spin cycle have its way with you.

You were the perfect compliment to the two fingers that I sucked on, only you didn't cause me to need braces like they did. Oh well, you live and learn.

I sacrificed a lot for you Boobie. Sarah teased me about having a blanket, and Daniel, well, I'm still bitter about the quarter-sized hold he cut in you (with a pair of kitchen shears) while we were watching cartoons one morning. I have to admit that I smiled quite smugly when he got spanked for that one. Serves him right for messin' with you. And when we would travel, they would always threaten to throw you out the window. The chiding was relentless. Where's the love?

When I went to college, I pondered whether or not to take you. The dorm was female only, but we got away with it for 4 whole years! You slept under my pillow most days, staying out of the public eye.

When I got married, you weren't really replaced, just no longer the first "man" in my life. Thank you for understanding and knowing that your place was between the mattress and the headboard. Several years ago, you did talk me into upgrading your housing to the lingerie drawer. No thanks are needed, it was the least I could do for all the years you'd been faithful to me.

We've had some wonderful times together, Boobie. And now the world knows I had a blanket named Boobie. See, I'm still sacrificing for you, and you're still folded up perfectly in the lingerie drawer.

Thirty one years have passed since I first laid eyes on you. Your edges are a bit more tattered, you've gone gray and your washings are less frequent as you can't handle the dreaded spin cycle anymore. You have earned your place with the bras and other unmentionables in the delicates bag. You will always hold a special place in my heart as being my first and only blanket. There was none other in this heart of mine (that is until Mr. Baseball showed up).

Boobie, thanks for the memories!

Love,

Your Dearest Caroline

my super talent

At long last, here it is - my sound effects video. I have videoed myself several times and was really critical about how I looked and sounded while on video. I'm over myself now, and I love this video because of the redhead. He makes everything cute, but this is especially cute because of the setting its in. And notice...I'm not wearing the green shirt. Hope you enjoy!