bad words...according to kindergartners

You know how when you are little, there are certain "bad words" that you're not allowed to breathe for fear of getting your mouth washed out?

Words like "stupid", "shut-up", "darn it", etc.

When I was in kindergarten I often went to play with my little friend Claire who lived in our neighborhood. One day I came home in tears and the conversation went as follows:

Me: "Mom, I didn't want to do it. I really didn't, but Claire made me say it."

Mom: "Caroline, what did Claire make you say?"

Me: "I can't tell you - it's too bad. It's a bad word."

Mom: "Caroline, you can tell me...just tell me."

Me: "I didn't want to do it mom, I just didn't, but she made me say it."

Mom: "WHAT DID YOU SAY?"

Me: (in tears) "She made me say...Oh God!"


I wish I could say that's the worst thing I've ever said.

In other things funny, little Caroline told me a "bad word" the other day. She and I were petting my dog Lijah and she mentioned the movie "Marley and Me". I asked her if she had seen it and she said yes ( I thought this was a more grown-up movie) and that I wouldn't like it because of the ending. (Spoiler Alert) I asked her if the dog died in the movie and she said yes and that it was sad. (End of Spoiler Alert) She also mentioned there were lots of bad words in the movie and proceeded to mouth one that I couldn't quite understand. I said..."What?", and she reluctantly said in a hushed voice - "Sexy."

So, there you have it. Ranking up there with all the other "real" four-letter words are "Oh God" and "Sexy".

I'm just trying to help you keep it clean.

i couldn't make stuff like this up

I've been getting a good workout lately.

Little Caro has been teaching me "dances" in the afternoon while she's been here. The other day I brought out an old keyboard that I have and she pushed the "demo" button - and it was all downhill from that point on.

The demo song sounds like a cheesy version of "Push It" by Salt N' Pepa, complete with synthesizer. I think I've learned a total of 5 dances and I actually had to perform one in front of Little Caro's mom and older sister. It was at that moment that I kissed all my dignity goodbye.

There's been much dancing, but yesterday, it was all about some stretching. She even had Wesley doing the bicycle move with his legs up in the air. I'm tellin' ya'll, she's gonna be the tiniest drill sergeant ever to appear on "The Biggest Loser".

She's asked me to do several moves that my mind wants to do, but that my body totally rebels against. Let me give you some examples:

* a split - Have I done a split in the last decade?
* a full push-up - is there such a thing?
* jumping jacks - I think my boobs knocked me out after the first one.
* the cheerleading move where you grab the inside of your foot and stretch it straight out and up - What? You can't imagine what I'm talking about? Here, let me show you a picture of me doing it...


Aren't you impressed? Thought so.

Yesterday was by far the funniest and I wasn't even involved...imagine that! She was jumping off one of my step benches and prior to each jump, she would name the jump. From out of nowhere she says..."And for my next jump...the Square-Cut Le Poop! I about fell out of my desk chair laughing so hard. Here's a picture...

and here's the Picture of RePoco jump (also originally named)...



and then the creative genius/dancer/drill sergeant took time out of her busy schedule to pose with my little redhead le poop...

Cute huh?

hot bubbling lava, funnel of wind...they're almost the same

I have started keeping a little girl for an hour and a half in the afternoon. She's in kindergarten and is the cutest little blue-eyed blonde you ever did see. Her name is Caroline also, which is fun, and today she said the most hilarious thing. Evah.

We've been having a lot of rain over the last 48 hours. I'm not dissin' rain cause we needed it in a big way. Thank you Jeeeeessssusssss! Anyway, there was a tornado(ish) thingy in the northern part of our county today, so they put all the schools on lockdown. (I don't really believe the smack about the tornado because alls I saw was heavy rain...whatev.) Anyway, Caroline came over after school and told me they all had to get under their desks because there was a -

Volcano Drill.

Tornadoes, Volcanoes, its easy to get the two confused. Sweet little lamb. If she only knew that crouching under her desk covering her head would never work during a volcano drill.

Good thing she's got 12 more years of school left to learn important things like this.