dear santa,

You are totally real. I still believe in you, even though I am 31 and now have a child of my own.

And I was ROBBED, I tell you - years of innocence, awe and wonder, violently flushed down the toilet I was delicately perched upon.

Its all her fault, Santa - the all-knowing older sister who executed her most sinister undercover operation to date. Her powers of deduction were unparallelled - how mom and dad used the same wrapping paper you did, and how you and dad had the same handwriting.

The evidence mounted and she felt compelled to report her findings to me, an unassuming five year old. Not only that, but she could not wait for me to exit the bathroom before she spewed forth the "truth" of your non-existence.

I will tell you Santa, I was more than shattered.

I mean, what kind of a world is a world with no Santa? And I ask you, who finds out there "is no Santa" whilst seated upon the porcelain throne?

If you ceased to exist, that would render null and void all of my most favorite Christmas programs...

* Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer
* Frosty the Snowman
* Christmas Vacation
* Christmas Eve on Sesame Street
* The Grinch Who Stole Christmas

...and I'm just not having that, no siree.

Despite what some grown-ups might say, I know you are real. And I know Mrs. Santa is real - I spoke with her on the phone one Christmas Eve many years ago.

I realize there's not much time left before Christmas and you're bound to be busy, so I'll get right to the point. Here's my wish-list for this year:

* Addison Road CD
* Running Shoes
* Wii
* New Baby (I realize you aren't really the one who should help me out with this, so can you pass on a good word to the stork for me? Thanks!)
* Bras/underwear (it is WELL past time for some new unmentionables)
* clothes (I won't disclose what size because you already know that)
* Pocket-Sized Bible
* Newsies DVD - so I can watch Christian Bale dance around and sing his cute little heart out. He was at least 18 when that was filmed right?)
* Tae-Bo DVD's or new Firm workout program


Thanks Santa. I know you focus on getting presents to children for Christmas, but I'd really appreciate it if you could make a special stop for me. I'll leave you a little money with the cookies, milk, and carrots to offset your traveling expenses. With the current price of sleigh travel, no doubt you could use it.

See you next week!

Caroline

P.S. Please bring a Milkbone with you so Lijah doesn't bark and wake the redhead up when you arrive.